Lost Smile
by C h i b i C h i n a
Summary: ?xChina. China has lost his smile...? Forever...?   Sorry, suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

I'm sitting all alone, in my quiet bare house. You're not here of course. Even though i sometimes picture you sitting in the chair beside me. You're smiling, your bleaming white smile. The smile i want to burn inside my head forever. I want it to carve my memories just like it has my heart. My Heart that seems to be torn apart lately...

You're never smiling anymore. The blank look on your face makes me hurt. _Hurt_. I'll see you walking past me, I'll say Hello wearing the best smile i can put on. Yet, you only give me a blank, blank greeting. And you don't even want to talk with me anymore. Why not? Are you scared like i am? Scared that you'll never see your own smile again?

Where did your smile go? Can i help you obtain it again? Why can't you smile? Can you let me help you get it back? Please! I'll do anything! I'm pictureing you smile beside me right now! I can see it! I know you want to smile again...right? It's breaking my heart...Lately my heart has been playing tricks on me...Or perhaps it's my head telling me lies. Well, i really just want you to smile again. Wrap me in your arms as you smile...I want to see you smile again! Please!

Huh? What's this? A tear? I can feel me cold wet tears srip down my face. Your smiling face should be wiping them away...Oh, wait. You're not even in the same room as me. My imagination is getting me mixed up...I'll picture you, say something then you're gone...That smile of yours dissapears too. The smile that i carved within me disappears...My tears aren't leaving me. They're dripping out like a an endless waterfall. Please be that cold blizzard that freezes them and makes them stop coming. I want only you to stop them...i won't accept anyone elses help.

If you don't smile soon, I'll break. I'll break easily like a twig. A twig that fell off from their tree, and fallen to the hard ground. Feeling abondoned from everything. Then, someone steps on it, lightly. I'll break, just like that. A twig, a fragile weak, lonely twig. Easily broken. The only thing hat can cure me, is your smile. Okay? So come soon...and make sure you bring your smile, that's all i want is to see your smile.

_I don't want to see you not smiling! _I yelled out the window. It's no use, you're not going to hear it anyways...Even ifyou did, would i make a difference? Would you take it to heart and come see me, smiling? Would you! I can't take this anymore. The tears are coming back!

I'm all alone in my house. I'm picturing you sitting in the chair beside me. And you're smiling too. Haha...what a joke right? I never sit in that chair because it hold something special. You and your smile. I'll only let you sit here...The fabric is nice! you said so yourself. Remember? We were laughing and having fun, fun!

Well, it's time for me to head to bed for another endless night...I don't even think i have enough energy to get to bed. I'll just lay here, light on and everything. I'll drift away into my own thoughts of your smile, and sleep...Peacefully. I'll sleep peacefully with you and your smile. The smile you lost.

The smile i carved inside my heart and memories.

_China, I love you._


	2. Chapter 2

I'm awake now. In my still empty quiet house, I can hear my neighbours television. They're watching a show that you made. Aren't you happy? Your shows are liked you have always wanted that, right? Of course! Who wants to hear that their show is hated anyways...? Eh, what am i going on about now? Nothing important. You _know_that people like your show. Not much sense in me...telling you...this...is there?

I should go make myself breakfast, i didn't eat dinner last night. It's unhealthy. But i can't move, i lost all my energy thinking about you. I should just go back to sleep, picturing you of course. Last Night i had a dream. A dream where you were smiling i couldn't see your eyes, your strong arms were tightly embracing me. You were so close yet i couldn't see your eyes. All i saw was your smile? That smile i saw, was not like the one i want to see. this smile was forced and… blank. Why was your smile blank? How can a smile be blank!

I quickly bolted out of my seat. I rubbed my head, scratching it with my nails. I don't know how long i shook and scratched my head. My face is red and raw feeling, it hurts. But, that image is gone. Thankfully. Vanquished from ever appearing in my head, or so i hope. I'll pray as long and much as i have to just make sure i never see that smile again. I want to see your beaming smile! Not some blank smile. That dream will never come true, right? You'll never show me that smile, don't, please? Here I'll give you my pinky and you promise to me, the me, whose here all alone imagining you. My pinky is cold yet i picture it warm with your pinky finger around it. Embrace me tightly after the promise.

_Please__, __Promise__me__you__'__ll__never__fake__smile__._

Your smile, has it made any progress on coming back? I'm tired and hurt on waiting. Mixed feelings are brewing inside me. They are really making my head messed up, aren't they? My only sanity is your smile. That smile i carved inside my heart and memories. Am i asking for too much when i ask for a smile? Can you not spare a smile for me? Just one? My feelings are asking for one. So show me one soon...i think I'll break.

Sometimes i begin to think that you don't care about me. You never show me your smile, and lately you haven't been talking to me. What happened to dinner every other day? The good times we've had? Did they disappear along with your smile? Did the kindness and caring you've shown to me disappear too? If you retrieve your smile you'll come here again, right? I've heard that laughter is the best medicine. Do you want to hear one of my famous jokes? Will that bring your smile back? I'm going on again...on ways to help you obtain your smile... They're coming again.

Cold, wet tears. You never seem to leave my mind. I'll try to forget about you, yet, you come back. The blank you of today comes after i imagine the old smiling you. The blank you of today, hurts more then what you think. I'll break, like a twig. Your the tree, realize that soon, okay? When you lost your smile, i broke off of you. And now I'm laying on the ground, ready to break at any moment. Only you can heal me...rescue me, be my smiling gleaming hero, alright? Be my hero with your lost smile.

The smile i carved inside my heart and memories.

_China, I love you._


End file.
